Think back to when you were a teen, you did so much behind your parents back and were not forthcoming with all the details when asked. With that said I don't know and don't want to know all that my kids are/were doing and feel that some of their choices to do crazy assed things makes them who they are because of the consequences of their actions. (love my kids even w the faults they may have)
I feel that we as parents need to support each other and not point fingers and judge. It is hard to parent (no book can prepare you for what it is like to raise kids or how to handle every situation), and each child is so different from the others. I struggle everyday wondering what I could have done better, could I have been around more, what if we could of provided more financially, should I have disciplined more or less, should we have done this or that. Totally unnecessary I know, as we did the best we knew how.
Because of some of our kid's actions, a few have judged us and needed a place to lay blame for the influence they may have had on their kids. Funny thing though, we all might realize that maybe it is our own kids that chose to participate at their own accords.
I guess what I am saying is that we as parents don't have a whole lot of control on certain situations in the teen years and if my kids were involved in a situation that causes others to judge or point fingers maybe it isn't always the way it looks. There are always 2 sides. And by no means are we claiming that our kids are perfect, we are SO incredibly proud of who they are becoming in the midst of the challenges they are facing each day, and thank God for them each day.