New Year 2010

Every New Years I make resolutions... Every year I bail on them and myself. What is it going to take? Kurt and I joke about people who are no longer in a relationship start to lose weight and take care of themselves. Do I have to ask Kurt to threaten to leave me? Why don't I put myself first?
Why do I find all these other things to do so I can avoid the gym, or justify a cheat day to take place every other day. I am so tired of being fat! I looked down at my thighs while I was at work today and thought I was looking st someone else. That is not me. Then I poked at my sweater thinking it was all my sweaters and realized it was ME, my gut. OMG are you kidding me? This is ridicules! I can no longer say I feel guilty leaving the kids at home while I go to the gym cause they go more then I do now. I look on the web and in magazines about quick weight loss looking for the miracle cure, there isn't any. I realized that if Oprah has blown up again and she can afford the world and she has not found it it must be true that I have to cut calories and work out:(
How big do I have to be for gastric bypass? I can bulk up and then have the surgery. How much fun would that be just packing it on... Just kidding. If Kurt is reading this he is so scared. LOL

So , I need to pull my head out of my FAT ass and reach some of my goals I have been avoiding.
Biggest Loser is ruthless but if they can lose weight I can too. I know they work out for 6 to 8 hours a day, but I have never seen anyone sweat like that like at Planet Fitness, but maybe I need to step it up and start. If I feel a bead of sweat I panic, I think I might pass out or I stop and head home. Kurt pushes me ( in a loving way) and I have learned I can say no to him and he just keeps dragging me along. I need to step it up and show him and myself I can do this and the pain is a good pain...
So enough is enough and I am on a journey to succeed!

Can you pass the chips?

Lazy vs. Overwhelmed

This is a battle I have with myself a lot. Sometimes when I feel overwhelmed it comes across as me being lazy. I have so much stuff going on in my head and through out my day that I just get so tired. Please tell me I am not the only one that feels this way.
The holidays are over and life is getting back on track. School/work are going well. I did just get told that my position at the HS will be just 181 days, instead of the 210. This is OK with me, but that is 2 pay checks that I will no longer be getting. I just wonder who will pick up my work? I don't think people realize what it takes to finalize up the year or what is involved in starting up a new year. I am sure all will be taken care of:)

I guess some days I am lazy, and most days overwhelmed.