Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Trip Across the US. DAY 2

July 23rd 9:30am


My bag made it and was the first ones off the carouse!
Halee picked me up and off we go. Well she announces we have places to go and people to see. So leaving the airport to head home was not going to happen. We drove all over the SD area. But I did get to tan at her former work. ITan. Talk about relaxing! Much needed! After visiting w people packing up and getting organized we were off. Halee and I were going to split up the trip by driving four hours a time and switching. As I am typing Halee is on her 13th hour of driving. She is Amp’ed up! I tried sleeping but it was scary driving through some of the areas. Big dead animals on the side of the road (elk, deer, and jack rabbits), swervy and hilly roads, and crazy landscapes. Halee kept announcing how many feet above sea level we were but saying 7000 square feet. I felt like I could not correct her cause I thought it was funny. After the 8th time she corrected herself… There was a point that we did not see a soul for 3 hours. Halee has decided that she wants to take a geology class to figure out why the landscape looks the way it does out here in Southern Utah and Western CO. The pictures I have posted do it justice, the depth and height was just incredible!
Just a side note, if you ever drive out here stopping at the scenic rest areas is beautiful, but the bathrooms are so ruthless! I dry heaved a few times. Hand sanitizer is a must! By the way XM/Sirius radio is a must driving in these areas!
We drove through Vegas at about 11:30 last night. Coming from someone who has A.D.D. I was glad I was not driving. I totally had “the shiny ball” syndrome! So much to look at and so many lights! It is crazy how one drives for 4 hours out of SD and rising up out of the desert is this playground for adults! If we had more time and Halee had a fake ID we could have had some fun… Actually she probably has one,  (not my problem, right?)
We are heading to my extended family’s place in Longmont, CO. Looking forward to seeing them, but also a much needed shower and nap!
Just hit a car wash outside of Vail (10,200 elevation) oh my ears!, we went through major “herds” of bugs! We are all shinny and pretty. Now we could use the same thing. I just pulled a Mexican shower in a Shell gas station parking lot. I didn’t even care that people gave me a “look’. Halee should of done the same but whatever...

PICTURES SOON

Trip Across the US. DAY 1

June 22nd 6:45 am

So it begins… I arrived at Manchester airport late... If any of you know me this is a pet peeve of mine! I checked in to baggage and an alarm went off to indicate that I was late. Awkward! As the women is helping me with my bag and moving me along she says” I am not sure your bag will make this flight, so if not just go to baggage claims in San Diego and find out when it will arrive.” I am screaming in my head, why didn’t I get my butt out of bed sooner? I hate flying so I was trying to put off going as long as possible. I thought this was a joke about me driving across country and was waiting Halee would be calling at anytime to say she really wanted to stay in paradise. Not the case…
I hurried to go through security. Bags in buckets, jewelry off, laptop in its own bucket, and off I go. Nope, the security guy asks me to remove my “shawl”, it is a light sweater, but whatever… Um, I didn’t wear a bra this morning with all the rushing around, and I am wearing a cami so I thought I would be covered. Again, not the case, another awkward moment because it was cold. Jeepers, it has only been 1 hour since I woke up and I already have had some challenges.
On a positive note, the flight to Chicago is not full so I have some room and no kids sitting near me! The skies look clear and got to see my town of Goffstown from 10,000 feet above.
So I land in Chicago and then have to sit out on the tarmac for 15+ minutes… Um my flight leaves in 10 minutes. I am freaking out in my mind. We finally exit the plane and I arrive at my gate to see no one but the person at the desk. Everyone has boarded. This means no window seatL UURRGG!
I finally find a seat and break up a father and daughter thinking they would have that extra seat between them. Nope, not today.
So I am off on my 4 hour flight to SD. I need to sleep this leg so we can drive through the night. Oh did I mention I have not eaten all day due to my lateness?

Trip across the US. DAY 3

July 25th

So we made it to CO in great time! We stayed with my cousin and his family. It was so great to be out of the car and to have interaction w others. We stayed the night and left CO at noontime. We were off to TN to see one of Halees friends. Not a ride I was looking forward to seeing the states we had to cross and seeing the storms that pass through this area every summer. In NH our storms on radar only have “red” cells if it is going to be bad, not here they have “purple” cells.
Off to Kansas, corn, cows, wrangler jeans, big trucks, can see for miles, and windmill farms. We watched storms to the south of us the lightning show was beautiful! That is Kansas from Rte 70 perspective… Oh and Rte 70 from Utah to TN. has the most adult “super” stores, and so many casinos. So basically it is a highway to hell. The other super stores we saw were fireworks... CRAZY!  The other thing saw were a lot of Jesus billboards. “Jesus loves those that don’t watch porn”… So where does that put the people who watch porn? Just a fact to all the bible thumpers… God and Jesus loves everyone. I am sure it has it’s great areas but not from what we saw. Note to self, Kansas is not in our top 20 places to live, probably not in our to 50…
Next to Missouri, a little more trees, hills, and curves. This is the only rain we hit rain so far. I did get to see the arch in St Louis, but it was late and rainy. We took a turn at St Louis to IL for a quick drive to drop down to KY. At about dusk I hit an area that was all dense woods and I think every deer in the state were mulling around waiting to cross the highway. It was so scary, the headlights would pick up the reflection in their eyes and freak me out. I almost had to pull over till the sun was up because of the amount of deer. Needless to say I was doing 50MPH, it was posted 70 MPH. When the sun finally came up the highways were riddled with dead dear. I still don’t get why they feel it is safe to cross the road in front of an 18 wheeler…
KY was the next area, rolling hills, horses, and green.
This was an uneventful leg of the trip, which is fine with me. Halee is still asleep. I was bored no one to talk to and I was sick of all our music.
Finally to TN, we went up and over mountains and lush green areas. Many state parks here. As we climbed, well the car climbed up and over some of the steps the maintenance required light came on… I am thinking because I finally put the highest grade of fuel in the car and it went into shock. I feel like it is driving better. We will have it checked in NH, if we make it. We made it to Knoxville to our destination for the night. As soon as we got there we said hello and hit the bed. After a few hours we were recharged. We spend the night just kicking back with our transplanted NH friends that live here now. For about 45 min we sat and watched storms pass north of where we were. It was incredible the lightning show that took place. I have never seen anything like it.
This morning we are of to the North. Not sure if we are stopping in WV or continue home. Six hours to WV, 15 hrs to NH. I know we could do it seeing I drove 20 hrs straight. Although I have had an eye twitch for the past 20+ hours.
Still looking for that Dunkin Donuts. America does not run on Dunkins… I have not seen one on our trip home…

PICTURES SOON

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

This entry might offend some, but this is where I can vent get out my feelings on certain issues... So click away from this page and enjoy your day, or stay and read.


As many of you know I grew up in the Mormon religion.  I attended all my meetings, early morning seminary (6:00 am before school), girls camp, dances, you name it I went.  Most of the things I went to I wanted to go to, but some things I was told I had to go. What happens when you tell a teen they have to do something. Yup, bad attitude and rebelling!  That was me.  I do not like conforming to what everyone else is doing.  I felt I didn't really know who I was because I was being molded into something I was not happy with.  I continued living a life that I was not happy with because I was told if I had these feelings they were from Satan. So for a very long time(25+yrs) I thought I was a bad person because I questioned a lot. 
I brought my kids up in this religion because it was all I ever knew, and Kurt joined the church as well.  Don't get me wrong, we as a family have a very strong belief in God and the eternal plan.  We say morning prayer and evening prayer, we talk a lot about our moral values, spiritual values, and  values for "our" family. We do these things because we want to not because we have to.  If the kids have issues with a subject we talk about it and give them guidance but do not make them be something they are not, or feel uncomfortable with. 
I guess my heart really turned when Halee was applying to colleges and she made her decision to go to San Diego to school.  So many people in my church gave me that sad look and said, " so, she is not going to BYU?"  Are you kidding me! Halee is a lot like me and would freak out in a school that everyone has to be the same, same look, same thoughts, same judging ways. I had some say that I would be held responsible for her school choice.  Um, the only school she did not get into was BYU.  She got into 4 other great schools.
UNLV, USC, ASU, and SDSU. Halee stopped going to early morning seminary in Goffstown because here were only 3 kids in it, so therefore BYU would not consider her.  Really, how judging is that, BYU needs to know why she stopped going and see what it is like to be a Mormon outside of the "Happy Valley" of Utah. Also a lot of the kids that go to BYU from around here know people that help them get in to BYU... Whatever...
I always felt like I was an outsider because I didn't have the same thoughts and I am raising my family in a different way.  We have given our children a base of the gospel, it is up to them to make there own choices.  Free agency, isn't that what God had planned for us? 
Seeing people of this religion play it off like they have their shit together makes me feel very sorry for them.  I know so many that feel stuck in their relationship because they have been "sealed" to their partner.  Some avoid their families due to the craziness going on inside the wall of their home.  People judge others so ruthlessly because they don't want to look at themselves.
It has been about 6 months since I have been to church, and I am starting to like who I am, and enjoying my family.  I am not stressed out by all the things I am not doing, like food storage, FHE, meeting after meeting, family history.  I would come home from church totally overwhelmed because of all the things that I had to do to be the perfect wife, mother, and example to others.
Mormon hold themselves to a higher standard which might be great for some, but if you really knew, most women feel like this they just wont say anything because they "can't".  So I am saying it for them. 
Someday I might return to being a Mormon, but right now I see a lot of other positive options. 
Like I said I am just venting and take it for what it is worth...

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Things I Learned From Being a Bus Driver

When someone says they are a school bus driver what do you think?







  1. They cant find another job
  2. Non-educated
  3. Fat, ugly, dirty, un-kept
  4. Unmotivated
  5. Mean
I am sure the list can go on for a few more, but you get the point. As most of you know I drove a bus for 7 years. Yes, 7... This was not my life's goal, or even a glimmer of a thought when I was going to college. Life happens.
There I was married with 4 kids living on Kurt teaching salary. To say the least we were struggling. We had a friend come over and bail us out a of a situation and mentioned that I should take a serious look at being a bus driver. He said I could bring my kids with me and it would help out the family. To his face I said "ya, sure, great idea..." Before the door even clicked shut I told Kurt, " are you freak'n kidding me! I AM NOT going to drive a bus! Who does this guy think I am?" I was so upset. As some more bills came in I realized I needed to put my pride aside and just bite the bullet.
Off I went to training, I had to study rules, and know parts of the bus that most would not have a clue. The people I met had more heart and understanding then most of my friends that had "it" all. (none of my friends really have it all, some just think they do). I tested with the state and passed. Now I have a CDL license and can drive a bus and a truck.
I would pack up my 4 kids every morning and drive to the bus station unload 2 car seats, 4 kids , and only one would head off to school. Abby would sit next to Sophia to pump her with food and drinks for the ride and Brock would have other kids sit with him and just chat w/ him.
Winter sucked! The buses had to be warmed up so I would have to leave early, go start the bus, jump back into my car with the kids and wait till the ice was a bit melty so I could scrape it all off. What the hell was I thinking taking this crappy ass job. I am going to strangle the guy who said this would be good for our family. Ya, he's a guy, and failed to remember I have 4 kids in tow and 2 car seats that get dragged back and forth from car to bus and back twice a day.
Winters in New England suck... They suck worse if you are a bus driver. Ya, I was in charge of 50+ kids and had to get them to school and home safely. I had a route that was curvy, hilly and down right ruthless! Many times I would pull over after all the kids were off and just cry because of the shear emotion of thinking we could all go over the edge if I made one wrong move.
My first year I didn't have much interaction with the kids, I figure I was "just" their bus driver. I also thought I was only doing this for a year so why bother getting to know these kids. As June rolled around and the year was coming to a close my manager asked if I wanted the same route for next year... "Sure"... What just came out of my mouth? OMG, I am going to do this again? I must be seriously mental. I lost my mind.
Summer came and I realized I missed some of those kids that must of thought I was mute. I knew I had to go back with a different attitude. September started and on marched the little cherubs. I would say "hi", or "good morning" to them and they would just look at me like I was a crazy bus lady. As time went on these kids would talk to me about school, home, issues, they would ask me questions and we as a bus all got to know each other. There were time the whole bus would be singing, or all laughing at something someone said or did. Fridays kids could sit where they wanted to and I would bring a treat to the "rider" of the week. This was someone that helped out with picking up my bus, helping another student or just that real sweet kid.
Each year I would see kids come and go. I grew to love these kids and there families. There were a select few that I wanted to hit the breaks when they were standing, but very few. I see former students in the stores and around town and kids still say hi to me.
So after 7 years, many students, and many great people at Goffstown Truck Center, I realized being a bus driver was the best job for me at that time of my life.
So if your kids have a bus driver take the time to thank them for taking your kids to school safely each day and understand they are people that are doing what they enjoy and don't think or them as the 5 things listed above!

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

What is your Calling?


So my day at work was one for the books... I think I dropped the "F" word to Kurt like 5 times in a 1.5 min conversation when he called to check in to see how my day was going. He might be a bit hesitant to call me again at work.
I know I was not put on this earth to be told what to do, get my ear chewed off by upset parents, teachers, and students, or take on the crazy work load that I have to do when I was hired as a mire attendance clerk...
So here I am sitting again at the VA hospital thinking "what is my calling".

Main Entry: call·ing
Function: noun
1 : a strong inner impulse toward a particular course of action especially when accompanied by conviction of divine influence
2 : the vocation or profession in which one customarily engages


I think a lot about what would I really like to do? Anything? I think I have come to the conclusion I have lost myself a bit in being a wife and a mother. I would never leave my family to go off and ski the world, or go and do something like the Peace Corps. And I am NOT putting my family on the back burner like I see with some people. Either the husband is always gone or the mom is so wrapped up in her own goals that the family suffers. That is not what I am looking to do. I am just wondering what my calling is.

It is hard to put myself first and hard to figure out what I want.

So I am going to keep MY CALLING at the center of my mind. I need to find out who I am as a person, not a label as a mom and wife, but ME...

WHAT IS YOUR CALLING AND ARE YOU ACHIEVING YOUR TRUE DESIRES?

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm....

Didn't know what to blog about today so I am "stealing" this idea from a friend... http://ascapecodturns.blogspot.com/2010/03/things-that-make-you-go-hmmmmm.html

Sometimes things happen in the world that make you think, hmmmm..... Let's review this week so far...

* The Mater Cleanse is a crazy inner body cleanse that one should stay close to home while doing... Really, it is crazy. But I do feel better. Made it 5 days, will start again on Monday 10 day goal...

* Wondering if our 15 yr old daughter knows how to count... She is having a birthday party in 2 weeks, I said maximum 50 kids... Just checked her FaceBook, it is closer to 75...

*Realizing you are cutting the cord with one of your children to let them make decision for themselves is rewarding:)

* Teaching Abby to drive... Told her to put the car in reverse and the wipers went flying across the window, then she jacked on the turn signals both direction... OMG, this is now Kurt's department...




*Seeing Brock play lacrosse and seeing a bit of aggression coming out, he is such a sweet kid it is good to see some toughness.

* Looking at my "baby" and seeing a 20 year old in an 11 year old body, well almost 12. She might be my biggest challenge...



* Knowing we are doing a good job parenting when our kids want to hang out with us. Really they do!

* Seeing Kurt stress out the past few days makes me realize he is human after all...(Mr. Chicken Soup for the Soul). Usually me that is the stress case...

All in all is has been a good week with a lot of progress.